.The Necessary Steps.

Life.
There are so many things to learn, so many ways to learn them.
Ever since I was little I wanted to be something of great importance. I wanted a good job, to get married, have lots of kids, and just to be happy.
This dream was something i just always imagined would come true. The thing that I didn't take into consideration is the fact that I have to work for it. A good job isn't something that you can just walk into any place and get, you spend years earning it. Marriage certainly doesn't come easily. That seems to take more work than anything. Kids, obviously, come after the whole marriage thing. Add all of these things together, and hope it brings you happiness.

Being six, it was so easy to draw a picture of your dream house, write a list of all the qualities you want your husband to have, and name all of your 8 kids that your going to raise. It seems that all you have to do after that is wait. I wish this were true. Life comes at you fast, there are more heartbreaks than you ever would have thought. You think you can do it on your own, but life is way harder than you expected. This isn't a story about how hard my life is, or how much I want to give up, no, this is a story about the reality of things. How your dreams of a prince and princess happy ending are gone after high school. The moment your step foot out of your parents home, knowing that you won't come back for a long time, you realize that this is it. This is the true beginning of your life.

          It took everything I had not to fall apart in my dads arms at 4:00 in the morning when I left for college in Idaho. I wanted so badly to just be ten again, or crawl back into my crib and cry until I was held. I knew the road ahead of me was going to be a long one, full of mysteries. I was never one to stop before I reached my full potential, so I knew that college was the next step, a necessary step.

That first night in my new apartment, I prayed so hard that I could find out who I was. I wanted to be able to walk out the door everyday and be confident that I knew where I was going in life.
I found a bit of a second wind in me, I was free! No more waking up when my mom wanted me to. No more tedious chores, or tasks of driving my siblings everywhere. I could do what I want and when I wanted to do it. I was my own person. It was nice, for awhile.

The more time I spent doing what I wanted to do, the more time I missed doing what my mom wanted me to do. This was no coincidence. My mother spent the last 19 years of my life drilling and carving things into my brain that I could never shake. I had a built-in conscience that my mom gave to me. I started going back to the basics. I can tell you, parents know what they are doing. They don't give you all these rules and expectations for nothing, it's how you become who you are.
When it comes to the whole marriage thing? Someday I hope, maybe at least part of my happily ever after will come true. I know the road to happiness is a long and hard one, but it is necessary. It shapes who you will become. It will teach you how to step outside, knowing where you are going, and how to get there. The journey awaits, but that is just the beginning.

They're Mine, and I Love Them .

It seems like forever since I have posted a blog.
I am now in my second week of college, I like it. I have more advanced classes and I can feel my career being slowly but surely shaped into what I want it to be.
I miss my family greatly. I would spend endless nights staying up until all hours with my little brother watching funny movies, and playing video games. We would tell stories that would have us both laughing until our stomachs hurt, and we could talk for hours, about the dumbest things.

My little sister and I would have weekend sleepovers, and "sister time". Our fun runs to lime berry, and walmart never got old. Our new found indulgence is the chocolate malted crunch from Carl's Jr, which Emily cannot pronounce and calls it "Choka moka chunk".

My mom and I would talk about anything and everything, she is one of my very best friends, and she is the one person that I can talk to about just about anything. I know that my secrets are safe with her.
My dad is my daddy, what else can I say. I love him more than any man in the world. If I was having a bad night then he would help me to fall asleep, even if he didn't say anything at all. He is the one person that could make me cry, just by hugging me, because it would be the last time I hugged him for a long time.
I miss my family more than anything, and I will be taking advantage of going home, and spend every minute with them.
I am extremely blessed to have the family that I do. I am out here in Rexburg for my freshman year, but I am not alone, I have my older brother and his wife to help me with anything I need. Everywhere I go in my life I have my family just a few steps behind me.
If I could tell everyone one thing to always remember, it would be to hold their family close and never let them go. I would never trade my family for anything, and I can see the tender mercies of Christ working their way through my life, just by hearing that ever-so sincere 'I love you' come from each member of my family.

"Families will be together forever". This is the greatest blessing I have ever been given.